Hard times

This year hasn't been easy.

Hellish busy and productive on one hand, but also unlucky and unsuccessful.

Still fighting with Easyjet for compensation -- and almost four months on, after tons of emails sent and forms filled in, I'm not sure how much closer I am.

In January, quite unexpectedly, boarded for a job in Jerusalem. Didn't get it.

Also in January, I attended a big brainstorming session for SR which resulted in an immediate and massive increase in my workload. And I wasn't even officially with SR at that point!

It wasn't until I finally made my move to SR in February when the enormity of the project dawned on me. It was crazy; it was way too much. Far more complex than last year, far more ambitious and, as usual, I was thrown in at the deep end. My to-do list grew longer and longer. Oftentimes I woke up in the middle of the night, remembering that I've forgotten something really important without which the next day would be a disaster. I'd end up writing entries in my mobile phone at three in the morning, setting alarms to remember things. My mind was in total overdrive.

On the positive side, I've produced the best radio ever. The conversation between kids in Kabul and Bristol was brilliant. It made a real hit everywhere, across all platforms. I was monitoring the recording in a self-op and it sent shivers down my spine. And it still does when I listen to it. Great stuff, I'm very proud of it.

On the negative side, leading SR's international content left me utterly exhausted. I burnt out and I badly needed a break at the end of March - and I still haven't had it.

The day SR was over, Chrissi arrived.

She's Noni's German exchange and she spent a week in our house.

I had been so worried -- about the condition of the bathroom, Noni's loft bed which is very close to the ceiling, the lack of space in the house, the general fuzziness of the place.

Emergency arrangements were made to draft in Piotr, our much-loved Polish handyman, to replace the floor tiles in the bathroom, many of which had been cracked. Piotr did a great job -- but said the floor under the tiles was in such a bad shape that it would need to be replaced in the summer. (And he was right: four weeks on, the first tile is already rising again.)

But back to Chrissi: I shouldn't have worried. She fitted in perfectly and loved us and the house from the word go.

It was one of those rare "stranger catapulted into your life and becomes best friend" situations.

But - and that's what keeps happening this year -- the moment something starts to go well, there is a sudden relapse.

The volcano cloud and the resulting travel chaos has stopped Noni and her fellow exchanges from returning the German girls' visit. They're still waiting to rebook. And it looks increasingly like their trip would be cancelled altogether.

But I'm running ahead. First, just as Chrissi left, the Easter hols started. It was always going to be bit tricky. I had a feeling early on that things were conspiring against my well-earned break. First of all, Non's and Dan's breaks didn't fully coincide and my leave didn't coincide with a convenient window in their busy Easter break schedules. Organising a getaway was turning into a logistical nightmare and the weather wasn't good, either. Just as I was struggling to arrange something, in between doing loads of night shifts, we had an outbreak of winter vomiting affecting three out of four in the family. That was the stuff of nightmares.

So the break-that-never-really-was was cancelled.

I'm struggling on. But I don't think I've ever been in such a state of total exhaustion.

To tackle it, two weeks ago I embarked on an ambitions running schedule. It was going very well - 50 min runs four days a week, gradually increasing speed.

I was quite pleased with my progress - and then a nasty surprise: yesterday I felt a sharp pain in my right knee. It's the kneecap, the very side of it.

Hope it goes away. Running is the thing that keeps me going.

I'm missing something. I want something big. A breakthrough of sorts. Some excitement. A nice surprise. Something to happen spontaneously. Things to work out all by themselves without me having to work so hard every step of the way - only to end up taking u-turns or finding myself back in square one.

Enough grumbling.