Husband selected a nice new milkpan at Tesco's. We needed a new one because
1. after many years' of faithful service, the handle of our Ikea milkpan was now in the final stage of separation from the main body;
2. and the non-stick coating on our new Sainsbury milkpan started to peel off in day one.
So as part of his weekly big shopping event, he put into his trolley a shiny new milkpan.
As he was leaving the checkout area, he couldn't help overhearing the following conversation between his cashier and the next customer:
Next customer: "What a lovely milkpan that gentleman has bought. I'm kind o' thinkin I should run back and get one myself!"
Cashier: "Don't bother, it's awful."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Cashier: "The handle gets so hot you will burn yourself. I bought one last week and had to bring it back straightaway."
Sometimes I kind o' think this world is going mad.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy EasyChristmas -- without a ski lift
EasyJet has become a swearword in our family.
That's because they cancelled both our outgoing and incoming flights.
With the first cancellation, they ruined our ski break. With the second, they ruined our Christmas.
We've now more or less recovered, but we'll never, and I mean NEVER again fly EasyJet. They are useless idiots who have no consideration for their passengers. They simply shouldn't be in business.
It all started with about 2 cms of snow on Dec 18. We, along with thousands of other passengers, made it to Gatwick just fine.
We checked in and we were told to wait in the lounge while the runway was being de-iced. After two hours of waiting, things became a bit suspicious, with BA and all other airlines opening gates and flying happily in all directions, with minimum cancellations. Only Easyjet passengers were told stubbornly to "PLEASE WAIT".
It didn't bode well. And there was the added complication that Daniel was not very happy to wait in the departure lounge for four hours. Quite understandably: I had woken him up at 0345. So by then he was a bit noisy and demanding. And I was grumpy, too. Quite understandably: I had just emerged from four night shifts in a row, with an accumulated sleep deficit of over 20 hours.
Eventually we were told Easyjet was cancelling all flights in the morning. That included at least 15 flights from Gatwick North, if not more. We were ushered down long corridors to the arrivals area to reclaim our checked-in luggage that appeared on the carousels as it we had just arrived. To add insult to injury we also had to queue up for passport control. It was bizarre, not even having left the airport.
Having cleared customs, thousands of disgruntled Easyjet passengers were keen to rebook their flights at the EasyJet desk. We didn't even try. The scenes were utterly disgraceful.
Instead, we collected out car and drove home. By then, almost all the snow had melted.
Back home, I first tried to rebook the canceled flight online. No luck -- EasyJet's web site said our flights could not be transferred because they were in the past! Exactly!
Next, I tried the one-pound per minute Easyjet customer service telephone line. Couldn't get through -- the automated message I got was along the lines of "We're experiencing an unexpected volume of calls. Your waiting time would be over 30 minutes so we now have to disconnect your call."
It would raise any unfortunate traveler's blood pressure, not being able to contact an airline under these circumstances. So imagine what I felt when, a few hours later, I did get through on the phone, after a 20-odd minute wait, only to be "helped" by an Easyjet staff trying to engage in small talk -- at £1 a minute. "How interesting? How do you pronounce that name? Just our of interest, is it a Turkish name?"
I really should have resisted the temptation. But I just couldn't. I know I wasted another pound, lecturing him why a customer's nationality had absolutely no relevance to the rebooking of this flight. Ah, and geography, as well -- you would have thought Easyjet customer "helpers" are given some basic training as to where European cities are located... no, why should they be? That said idiot argued with me, unsuccessfully, that Munich was so far-a-far-away from Innsbruck that it shouldn't be considered as an alternative. So much further away than Salzburg, he said. Yes, right, why don't they teach them to use a map?
Anyway, outgoing flights were rebooked for 20 Dec.. that effectively cut our ski break to three days from five, but at that point we thought it was still worth it.
We would have never gone with it if we had known that EasyJet would also cancel our incoming flight. But there we were, Xmas Eve morning, 0830, Innsbruck airport: FLIGHT CANCELLED.
We couldn't believe our eyes. There were absolutely no weather issues at Gatwick, or Innsbruck.
We were given two options: either take a flight to Liverpool at 1335 or wait for a flight to Gatwick on Boxing Day.
In the end we chose Liverpool. Along with sixty other passengers, all of whom were convinced that Easyjet cancelled the Innsbruck to Gatwick flight because it was ony half-full. Anf they could be more or less sure that all of us would re-route to fill the insofar equally half-full Liverpool flight.
They did that to save money and maximise their profits, while blaming the weather. Utterly disgusting. Mind you, there were no words of apology on the Liverpool flight. To Easyjet, it's just business as usual.
Put simply, I wanted to go back to the hotel and do Xmas in Austria, and charge it on Easyjet or our travel insurance. But the majority of my family wanted to fly back. The kids wanted to be home for Xmas, and even I would have felt a bit guilty about calling in to say my flight had been cancelled .. I was scheduled to work on Xmas Day.
It was a total nightmare though, getting home. First, me, along with our 60 fellow sufferers, got on the two Internet terminals at Innsbruck airport to book cars from Liverpool to Gatwick. One way rentals, last minute, cost upwards of £250.
Not to mention the hassle. Picking up the car was a pain, with National's office being closed by the time we got there, my reservation being temporarily lost in the system, problems with the GPS, the child seat .. all lovely stuff, with increasingly loud screams of "NONO, WHAT'VE YOU DONE?" NOBODY WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND, EVER AGAIN" in the background.
I'm not much of a traditionalist, but driving down the M6 in thick fog and heavy traffic is the last thing I'd want to do on Xmas eve. Stopping at Burger King for Chicken Royale made me really, really sad. For this one day a year, I'm very happy to go with tradition: cooking a proper Xmas meal, opening presents and lighting the candles on the Xmas tree.
This last year, it was not to be: EasyJet made us celebrate EasyChristmas.
By Christmas Eve evening, I'd lost my sense of humour. Even worse, I took out all my frustration on my family when we eventually got home at 2130. It was bad: I blamed them for making the wrong decision. I really thought returning to lovely Wiesenhof would have made more sense -- we would had a much better Xmas. Ok, no presents - but lovely food, pampering in the spa, and a bit more skiing. Yes, a bit of anxiety as well about whether or not we'd be able to fly back on Boxing Day, and a bit of guilt about missing my Xmas Day shift -- but on the whole I was convinced it was the less bad option.
Instead, we were back home, utterly exhausted, late on Christmas Eve, with an awful "Xmas has been cancelled" kind of feeling. Next, Xmas Day started with husband returning rental car to Gatwick and collecting our own ... by the time he got home, there was a cab at our house, waiting to take me to work.
Eventually, we celebrated Xmas on Boxing Day. And Daniel wasn't happy with his presents!
He was so disappointed that over the next few days, he kept telling anyone who would listen, with a genuinely disturbed expression on his face "Do you know, Santa didn't bring me the present I wanted." Sympathetic adult: "What did you want?" D: "A ski lift".
That's because they cancelled both our outgoing and incoming flights.
With the first cancellation, they ruined our ski break. With the second, they ruined our Christmas.
We've now more or less recovered, but we'll never, and I mean NEVER again fly EasyJet. They are useless idiots who have no consideration for their passengers. They simply shouldn't be in business.
It all started with about 2 cms of snow on Dec 18. We, along with thousands of other passengers, made it to Gatwick just fine.
We checked in and we were told to wait in the lounge while the runway was being de-iced. After two hours of waiting, things became a bit suspicious, with BA and all other airlines opening gates and flying happily in all directions, with minimum cancellations. Only Easyjet passengers were told stubbornly to "PLEASE WAIT".
It didn't bode well. And there was the added complication that Daniel was not very happy to wait in the departure lounge for four hours. Quite understandably: I had woken him up at 0345. So by then he was a bit noisy and demanding. And I was grumpy, too. Quite understandably: I had just emerged from four night shifts in a row, with an accumulated sleep deficit of over 20 hours.
Eventually we were told Easyjet was cancelling all flights in the morning. That included at least 15 flights from Gatwick North, if not more. We were ushered down long corridors to the arrivals area to reclaim our checked-in luggage that appeared on the carousels as it we had just arrived. To add insult to injury we also had to queue up for passport control. It was bizarre, not even having left the airport.
Having cleared customs, thousands of disgruntled Easyjet passengers were keen to rebook their flights at the EasyJet desk. We didn't even try. The scenes were utterly disgraceful.
Instead, we collected out car and drove home. By then, almost all the snow had melted.
Back home, I first tried to rebook the canceled flight online. No luck -- EasyJet's web site said our flights could not be transferred because they were in the past! Exactly!
Next, I tried the one-pound per minute Easyjet customer service telephone line. Couldn't get through -- the automated message I got was along the lines of "We're experiencing an unexpected volume of calls. Your waiting time would be over 30 minutes so we now have to disconnect your call."
It would raise any unfortunate traveler's blood pressure, not being able to contact an airline under these circumstances. So imagine what I felt when, a few hours later, I did get through on the phone, after a 20-odd minute wait, only to be "helped" by an Easyjet staff trying to engage in small talk -- at £1 a minute. "How interesting? How do you pronounce that name? Just our of interest, is it a Turkish name?"
I really should have resisted the temptation. But I just couldn't. I know I wasted another pound, lecturing him why a customer's nationality had absolutely no relevance to the rebooking of this flight. Ah, and geography, as well -- you would have thought Easyjet customer "helpers" are given some basic training as to where European cities are located... no, why should they be? That said idiot argued with me, unsuccessfully, that Munich was so far-a-far-away from Innsbruck that it shouldn't be considered as an alternative. So much further away than Salzburg, he said. Yes, right, why don't they teach them to use a map?
Anyway, outgoing flights were rebooked for 20 Dec.. that effectively cut our ski break to three days from five, but at that point we thought it was still worth it.
We would have never gone with it if we had known that EasyJet would also cancel our incoming flight. But there we were, Xmas Eve morning, 0830, Innsbruck airport: FLIGHT CANCELLED.
We couldn't believe our eyes. There were absolutely no weather issues at Gatwick, or Innsbruck.
We were given two options: either take a flight to Liverpool at 1335 or wait for a flight to Gatwick on Boxing Day.
In the end we chose Liverpool. Along with sixty other passengers, all of whom were convinced that Easyjet cancelled the Innsbruck to Gatwick flight because it was ony half-full. Anf they could be more or less sure that all of us would re-route to fill the insofar equally half-full Liverpool flight.
They did that to save money and maximise their profits, while blaming the weather. Utterly disgusting. Mind you, there were no words of apology on the Liverpool flight. To Easyjet, it's just business as usual.
Put simply, I wanted to go back to the hotel and do Xmas in Austria, and charge it on Easyjet or our travel insurance. But the majority of my family wanted to fly back. The kids wanted to be home for Xmas, and even I would have felt a bit guilty about calling in to say my flight had been cancelled .. I was scheduled to work on Xmas Day.
It was a total nightmare though, getting home. First, me, along with our 60 fellow sufferers, got on the two Internet terminals at Innsbruck airport to book cars from Liverpool to Gatwick. One way rentals, last minute, cost upwards of £250.
Not to mention the hassle. Picking up the car was a pain, with National's office being closed by the time we got there, my reservation being temporarily lost in the system, problems with the GPS, the child seat .. all lovely stuff, with increasingly loud screams of "NONO, WHAT'VE YOU DONE?" NOBODY WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND, EVER AGAIN" in the background.
I'm not much of a traditionalist, but driving down the M6 in thick fog and heavy traffic is the last thing I'd want to do on Xmas eve. Stopping at Burger King for Chicken Royale made me really, really sad. For this one day a year, I'm very happy to go with tradition: cooking a proper Xmas meal, opening presents and lighting the candles on the Xmas tree.
This last year, it was not to be: EasyJet made us celebrate EasyChristmas.
By Christmas Eve evening, I'd lost my sense of humour. Even worse, I took out all my frustration on my family when we eventually got home at 2130. It was bad: I blamed them for making the wrong decision. I really thought returning to lovely Wiesenhof would have made more sense -- we would had a much better Xmas. Ok, no presents - but lovely food, pampering in the spa, and a bit more skiing. Yes, a bit of anxiety as well about whether or not we'd be able to fly back on Boxing Day, and a bit of guilt about missing my Xmas Day shift -- but on the whole I was convinced it was the less bad option.
Instead, we were back home, utterly exhausted, late on Christmas Eve, with an awful "Xmas has been cancelled" kind of feeling. Next, Xmas Day started with husband returning rental car to Gatwick and collecting our own ... by the time he got home, there was a cab at our house, waiting to take me to work.
Eventually, we celebrated Xmas on Boxing Day. And Daniel wasn't happy with his presents!
He was so disappointed that over the next few days, he kept telling anyone who would listen, with a genuinely disturbed expression on his face "Do you know, Santa didn't bring me the present I wanted." Sympathetic adult: "What did you want?" D: "A ski lift".
Monday, December 14, 2009
Wisdom at 0258
This is from Stuart, my newsreader, at about 0300.
"It's not a good time to be a freelancer these days. Mind you, it's not a good time to be anything."
And Daniel last night, just before I set off for my night shift:
me: "Can you please stop shouting at the top of your voice. You're making me deaf."
he: "Mummy, do you know sign language?"
Thank God it's snowing in Tirol.
"It's not a good time to be a freelancer these days. Mind you, it's not a good time to be anything."
And Daniel last night, just before I set off for my night shift:
me: "Can you please stop shouting at the top of your voice. You're making me deaf."
he: "Mummy, do you know sign language?"
Thank God it's snowing in Tirol.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Done
I'm back to Radio. It's great to see my old colleagues and return to a very civilised four on, four off rota that allows me to do overtime. I haven't done any WOODS since early September, and my salary slips are a shocking reading!
I got quite confident by the end of my TV stint -- even graduating to Heads, ie becoming a very responsible member of the team. I was still quite relieved to escape. Not one of my fellow female live producer colleagues with kids does a full time job there. A shocking discovery, but a very good indication of how stressful the shifts are, and how disruptive the rota is.
Having said that,I don't want to lose my new-found TV skills, so I'll be back at TVC, doing regular overtime shifts. Best of both worlds.
In other news, we're going on a skiing trip -- the first in nearly two years! It's a pre-Christmas break, and we're heading to Pertisau, a small resort just 40 mins away from Innsbruck. The terrain is unchallenging but we don't care. It will suit us just fine and being still in the low season, it will be quiet. And the hotel is absolutely fantastic -- look forward to serious pampering in the food and spa front.
I'm just a few night shifts away from it .. and a very busy to-do-list to tackle as well before we head off. All presents must be bought and wrapped, cards written and sent, xmas tree decorated ... not to mention the usual hectric schedule of parties, drinks, school concerts and fairs in the run-up to Christmas. All very enjoyable - but difficult with night shifts to do in between!
Never mind - it will be the best holiday ever. Certainly one of the very best deserved.
I got quite confident by the end of my TV stint -- even graduating to Heads, ie becoming a very responsible member of the team. I was still quite relieved to escape. Not one of my fellow female live producer colleagues with kids does a full time job there. A shocking discovery, but a very good indication of how stressful the shifts are, and how disruptive the rota is.
Having said that,I don't want to lose my new-found TV skills, so I'll be back at TVC, doing regular overtime shifts. Best of both worlds.
In other news, we're going on a skiing trip -- the first in nearly two years! It's a pre-Christmas break, and we're heading to Pertisau, a small resort just 40 mins away from Innsbruck. The terrain is unchallenging but we don't care. It will suit us just fine and being still in the low season, it will be quiet. And the hotel is absolutely fantastic -- look forward to serious pampering in the food and spa front.
I'm just a few night shifts away from it .. and a very busy to-do-list to tackle as well before we head off. All presents must be bought and wrapped, cards written and sent, xmas tree decorated ... not to mention the usual hectric schedule of parties, drinks, school concerts and fairs in the run-up to Christmas. All very enjoyable - but difficult with night shifts to do in between!
Never mind - it will be the best holiday ever. Certainly one of the very best deserved.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Television
It's a hard life.
They say it will get easier after about three months -- that's exactly when I return to radio.
For the time being, it still feels like having been plunged into freezing waters at the deep end, with no swimming skills.
There were at least three hellish shifts when I thought I'd quit - the amount of pressure on me was just unbelievable.
I didn't - first, I'm too stubborn, second, most of the people I work with are very nice and I don't want to let them down.
Been driven to complete exhaustion by a crazy rota and a very steep learning curve, but for the time being, I struggle on.
Only 6 more weeks left.
They say it will get easier after about three months -- that's exactly when I return to radio.
For the time being, it still feels like having been plunged into freezing waters at the deep end, with no swimming skills.
There were at least three hellish shifts when I thought I'd quit - the amount of pressure on me was just unbelievable.
I didn't - first, I'm too stubborn, second, most of the people I work with are very nice and I don't want to let them down.
Been driven to complete exhaustion by a crazy rota and a very steep learning curve, but for the time being, I struggle on.
Only 6 more weeks left.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Jupiter and the floor managers
My bosses have decided that it would be a good idea to train us up across all platforms.
Sounds like a job for the railways, but in fact, I'm talking about journalism.
I'm now on a three-month television attachment. And actually quite enjoying it - well, up to a point.
It's a very steep learning curve, especially the technology. Pictures matter more than words here so being able to find them and cut them fast is a more important skill than being able to write good scripts - a real shock to a long-time radio producer like myself.
Another shock came from the lack of supervision: my second TV shift included editing pictures, writing captions and scripts for news bulletins. They all went out without anyone else casting a second pair of eyes on them. I was petrified -- I was certain they'd all fall of the air. It was a miracle they didn't.
It was scary -- but 24-hour television news is a relentless business and there are not always enough resources to check bulletins. Mind you 24-hour radio is the same. Nevertheless, in the radio newsroom I come from, every script is checked and checked again, even if written by the most senior editor. And we all think it's a good idea. So there's a huge cultural difference there.
It is fair to say that before my first TV shift, I did receive a few training courses, mostly to learn about the technology.
Jupiter is now my new best friend - it's our picture editing software, and it's brilliant. But it's so easy to click the wrong place or hit the wrong key accidentally and mess it all up. On my trainig course, for instance, I once managed to turn the entire screen pink. "What have I done?" I asked the trainer. The poor guy looked completely puzzled. "That's probably because you're a girl," came his best guess after several minutes of deep thinking.
On the positive side, Jupiter knows how to do a million things ... but every little thing can be done in at least two different ways, and if you get muddled up and shout for help, you can be sure you'll be shown a third way of doing it, so it is all a bit mind-boggling.
Still, I'm slowly coming to grips with it -- along with Astons, OOVs, SOTs, DTLs and the subtle differences between studio directors and floor managers.
What I'm not coming to grips with is the geography of Television Centre. That's completely beyond me. Newcomers really would need a training course to help them find their ways. After all, I may be asked to collect guests at Reception and take them to the Green Rooom -- that's where they wait before they go on air.
Television Centre is a diabolical place: it's vast and it has circular corridors; it is a bit like a maze. It's also missing the third floor: when going upstairs, after the second floor, you find yourself on the fourth. No one here has a clue why.
It's very very easy to get lost ... and even if I make it to the Green Room, there may or may not be a receptionist to take over the guest.
If there isn't one, my job will be to go into the studio, live on air, and find the floor manager, without getting in vision. It's easy, I've been told, he's the one who mikes the guests up.
Easy. How many times have I been wondering inside live 24-hour news studios? But everyone sort of expects you to know these things already.
The thing is, I'm a known troublemaker ... So the chances of me turning up on live television news, followed by a bewildered contributor, and asking for the floor manager, are, unfortunately, relatively high. What a nightmare.
Sounds like a job for the railways, but in fact, I'm talking about journalism.
I'm now on a three-month television attachment. And actually quite enjoying it - well, up to a point.
It's a very steep learning curve, especially the technology. Pictures matter more than words here so being able to find them and cut them fast is a more important skill than being able to write good scripts - a real shock to a long-time radio producer like myself.
Another shock came from the lack of supervision: my second TV shift included editing pictures, writing captions and scripts for news bulletins. They all went out without anyone else casting a second pair of eyes on them. I was petrified -- I was certain they'd all fall of the air. It was a miracle they didn't.
It was scary -- but 24-hour television news is a relentless business and there are not always enough resources to check bulletins. Mind you 24-hour radio is the same. Nevertheless, in the radio newsroom I come from, every script is checked and checked again, even if written by the most senior editor. And we all think it's a good idea. So there's a huge cultural difference there.
It is fair to say that before my first TV shift, I did receive a few training courses, mostly to learn about the technology.
Jupiter is now my new best friend - it's our picture editing software, and it's brilliant. But it's so easy to click the wrong place or hit the wrong key accidentally and mess it all up. On my trainig course, for instance, I once managed to turn the entire screen pink. "What have I done?" I asked the trainer. The poor guy looked completely puzzled. "That's probably because you're a girl," came his best guess after several minutes of deep thinking.
On the positive side, Jupiter knows how to do a million things ... but every little thing can be done in at least two different ways, and if you get muddled up and shout for help, you can be sure you'll be shown a third way of doing it, so it is all a bit mind-boggling.
Still, I'm slowly coming to grips with it -- along with Astons, OOVs, SOTs, DTLs and the subtle differences between studio directors and floor managers.
What I'm not coming to grips with is the geography of Television Centre. That's completely beyond me. Newcomers really would need a training course to help them find their ways. After all, I may be asked to collect guests at Reception and take them to the Green Rooom -- that's where they wait before they go on air.
Television Centre is a diabolical place: it's vast and it has circular corridors; it is a bit like a maze. It's also missing the third floor: when going upstairs, after the second floor, you find yourself on the fourth. No one here has a clue why.
It's very very easy to get lost ... and even if I make it to the Green Room, there may or may not be a receptionist to take over the guest.
If there isn't one, my job will be to go into the studio, live on air, and find the floor manager, without getting in vision. It's easy, I've been told, he's the one who mikes the guests up.
Easy. How many times have I been wondering inside live 24-hour news studios? But everyone sort of expects you to know these things already.
The thing is, I'm a known troublemaker ... So the chances of me turning up on live television news, followed by a bewildered contributor, and asking for the floor manager, are, unfortunately, relatively high. What a nightmare.
Galtur half
I did it. In exactly 2 hours, 19 minutes and 59 seconds.
It was a fantastic experience, running the Galtur half marathon.
It's in the Alps, and it's high up.
I thoroughly enjoyed the first stretch -- running out of the village, being cheered on by locals was a very nice start.
I got to the first checkpoint in 45 minutes, just as I planned. Having had two glasses of sports drink, including an ugly blue, I started the ascent.
I couldn't run all the way up the first mountain. It was too steep -- up four hundred meters in about three kilometres. I power walked as best as I could, with occasional bursts of running, and made it to the hut at the top 1 hr 20 mins after the start.
Just before I got there I encountered the first real obstacle: the path was blocked by a cow. It was huge and brown, and it was staring at me. It also had a massive bell round its neck.
Now which end do you overtake a cow? Head or tail? I immediately remembered a story about poor old John Prescott who was nearly trampled to death by a cow just a few weeks earlier.
Very gingerly, I squeezed through at the tail end and soon afterwards, I was enjoying a generous slab of home made muesli bar and a slice of lemon, along with two more cups of sports drink at the second check point.
I thought from now on, it would be a lot easier. I was wrong. I did run down the mountain amazingly fast, even overtaking two runners (yee!) but when I thought I was entering the last stretch of the run to take me back to the village, there was a nasty surprise: the path once again started to incline.
And very steeply, too. And my hands were swelling up. And it was hot. And I had been running for almost two hours. I was getting a bit confused, too. So where on earth was the third checkpoint?
In the end, I found it: strangely, they put it seven minutes before the finish line. I'd thought it would be about twenty minutes from the end, so I had been thinking I was still miles away, when in fact I was getting very near. That slowed me down bit: I was conscious not to run too fast to conserve some energy - not that I had much left at that point!
Anyway, I got a lot of applause when I crossed the finish line. And a medal. And a very nice hot drink. And a certificate which states I came in at tenth among the female runners. Well, there were only 13 of us, but the certificate doesn't say that.
It was hard work, but no torture. In fact, great fun. The locals offering snacks, the mountains, the waterfalls, the forests, the meadows, the bees, the cows. All combine to make it an amazing experience. And relaxing in the swimming pool after the run, watching the sunset over the mountains just conquered in running gear is not a bad thing, either.
I'll be back next year.
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