Jupiter and the floor managers

My bosses have decided that it would be a good idea to train us up across all platforms.

Sounds like a job for the railways, but in fact, I'm talking about journalism.

I'm now on a three-month television attachment. And actually quite enjoying it - well, up to a point.

It's a very steep learning curve, especially the technology. Pictures matter more than words here so being able to find them and cut them fast is a more important skill than being able to write good scripts - a real shock to a long-time radio producer like myself.

Another shock came from the lack of supervision: my second TV shift included editing pictures, writing captions and scripts for news bulletins. They all went out without anyone else casting a second pair of eyes on them. I was petrified -- I was certain they'd all fall of the air. It was a miracle they didn't.

It was scary -- but 24-hour television news is a relentless business and there are not always enough resources to check bulletins. Mind you 24-hour radio is the same. Nevertheless, in the radio newsroom I come from, every script is checked and checked again, even if written by the most senior editor. And we all think it's a good idea. So there's a huge cultural difference there.

It is fair to say that before my first TV shift, I did receive a few training courses, mostly to learn about the technology.

Jupiter is now my new best friend - it's our picture editing software, and it's brilliant. But it's so easy to click the wrong place or hit the wrong key accidentally and mess it all up. On my trainig course, for instance, I once managed to turn the entire screen pink. "What have I done?" I asked the trainer. The poor guy looked completely puzzled. "That's probably because you're a girl," came his best guess after several minutes of deep thinking.

On the positive side, Jupiter knows how to do a million things ... but every little thing can be done in at least two different ways, and if you get muddled up and shout for help, you can be sure you'll be shown a third way of doing it, so it is all a bit mind-boggling.

Still, I'm slowly coming to grips with it -- along with Astons, OOVs, SOTs, DTLs and the subtle differences between studio directors and floor managers.

What I'm not coming to grips with is the geography of Television Centre. That's completely beyond me. Newcomers really would need a training course to help them find their ways. After all, I may be asked to collect guests at Reception and take them to the Green Rooom -- that's where they wait before they go on air.

Television Centre is a diabolical place: it's vast and it has circular corridors; it is a bit like a maze. It's also missing the third floor: when going upstairs, after the second floor, you find yourself on the fourth. No one here has a clue why.

It's very very easy to get lost ... and even if I make it to the Green Room, there may or may not be a receptionist to take over the guest.

If there isn't one, my job will be to go into the studio, live on air, and find the floor manager, without getting in vision. It's easy, I've been told, he's the one who mikes the guests up.

Easy. How many times have I been wondering inside live 24-hour news studios? But everyone sort of expects you to know these things already.

The thing is, I'm a known troublemaker ... So the chances of me turning up on live television news, followed by a bewildered contributor, and asking for the floor manager, are, unfortunately, relatively high. What a nightmare.